It has been a long time since I have written in this blog. I fear there is programming at work behind this. I have been subjected to much ‘don’t talk’, ‘silence’ programming that whenever I get close to sharing and discussing my feelings and abuse history, then I am usually attacked spiritually and shut down. My decision to communicate, to share, to write, disappears and I forget all about it. Life gets in the way.
And with that, 2016 is over and so we start a new year with fresh focus and direction. I like to write in my journal at the beginning of each year about the year past, expressing my gratitude for what has been achieved and then setting some goals or areas of focus for the new year. Whilst I would usually do this offline, in order to combat the internal programming, I will review my year and establish goals via this platform, in the hope that it will stimulate more writing.
So here goes…
In 2016, I achieved and am thankful for the following:
- I converted from my masters to PhD
- I produced a short film and it is now ready to hit the festival circuit
- I secured a grant for work for my digital archive project and acquitted this successfully
- I kicked enormous goals at work with the project and other things, ending the year receiving a large grant that will span over the next two years
- I started sponsoring women from AA and taking them through the steps (this was very good for my emotional and mental state and allowed me to get out of self effectively)
- I got a beautiful dog – a groodle, so now we have two
- I joined a gym and started boxing again and have really increased my fitness and strength
I am sure there are plenty of other things, but these are the main things I can remember.
In 2017, I would like my focus to be as follows:
Spirituality / Recovery
- Do bible study once a week and continue to read my bible every day and pray more, working to better my relationship with Jesus
- Connect with my parts once a week (at least) – i.e. by writing in my journal, drawing, painting, blogging – maybe a recovery podcast? Start to track my process more and be creative in this
- Reflect more on my day at the beginning and end, handing over my will to God daily and then asking God if I really did my best that day and if not, helping me to heal or make my amends as necessary.
- Continue to go to the gym minimum three times a week (ideally five) – start sparring.
- Make sure dogs are healthy and get a walk every day or five times a week at least
- Work at getting at six pack!!
- Set goals in google docs over Summer break – working on grant and outlining objectives to achieve these
- Submit short film to festivals
- Apply for grant for final digitisation of material
- Continue PhD writing theses – finish three chapters by end of year
- Go to New Orleans in November and co-present at conference.
- Work with husband on weekend to help around house -with gardening or cleaning or just general repairs
- Finish second bedroom with hubby and set up new office
- Work with him more in general and be a good assistant to him so that we achieve things together.